Recently I have been rekindling old flames from the past since nothing else seems to work....and I see why some of those flames went out in the first place. Any of the new guys that I met in the last few months I have stopped talking to, why you ask??? Who the hell knows, some of them had potential and others had personalities that I knew would not work well with mine someday. So like I said before I dug out the old black book and started going out with a few guys from my past... I will do seperate post for each one with details of what happened but for now I am going to start backwards and go with the most recent. Jay and I first met when I was a sophmore in college, he was younger than me at the time and we both had one thing on our minds....sex.sex.sex, and more sex. After that one night of sexual bliss we never spoke or seen eachother again until recently. He makes me happy without sex and I enjoy being around him, so since we have reunited I have been the one paying for dinner, tolls, gas and all of this takes a toll on someone that is not working and noooo i'm not doing anything illegal to get money or selling my body. But like I said it does take a toll on a person and I don't know if I'm doing too much too soon. We went out three times the first week and I told him that I didn't want to overdue it since I do like him and I don't want him to get tired of me. He agreed with what I said but in a good way. I like him because he is down to earth, charming, polite,caring, masculine, smart, aggressive, attractive from head to toe. We went to see Book of Eli he held me during the movie, there wasn't but a few people there so it was real intimate and it felt good being in his arms. The next date we went out to eat and on the way home we talked about kissing and having sex. He said that kissing was a sign of wanting to move on to the next step towards a relationship and should not just be done for no reason. He said that if you don't love or plan or being with someone then you shouldn't kiss them so that things will not get confused, he followed that by saying that his last relationship lasted 8 months and if me and him were still on it by the six month then he will move to the next step. I kinda agreed with him, I'm tired of the one and two month flings, so I asked what about sex and he said the longest he would wait would be three months and after that he getting it from someone else. I asked how can someone know that after the sex your not just going to dismis them and he said you just have to have trust. I replied ok cool. So after that date we seen eachother a few times but not as frequent. Some of the things I have done have been buying him a shirt cus it was his favorite color, makin sure he eat by offering to come take him to get food. I care for him
he has become the only one in my eye sight now, but I wonder if it's the same for him. So far it's been two weeks of us talking and going out, he realizes that I care about him an do want to be with him but we are taking out time with everything. Hopefully things will turnout for the best....he may have been what I have wanted all these years but who knows. But I do plan on getting a job asap and getting an apt by the time I graduate or by September. He said I should look for places in jersey city, and that was the first couple of days we started talking. It's been awhile since I felt this way about a person so I need a little advice, should I keep doing for him like I am or should I ease up? Should I carry my heart in my hand for him or should I keep it protected? I also just learned that he cuts his phone off everytime we go out and I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing???
Sunday, February 7, 2010
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