My lil intro

Lol so I have prolly bored you all with my sad sob stories but not come the good stuff my next post will be about one of my many adventures. I have to decide which one I will start with....

Love lost

For so long I have ran away from love and now that I have stopped running from love, love is running away from me. When love reared it's ugly face I would run as if I was running away from a burning building never looking back. I don't know if it was becasue I was young and was enjoying my sexual explorations and flirtatious ways...being attractive enough to have any guy..why settle for anything but the best. But I realized the best are doing the same, looking for the next best thing to be their trophy. After years of turning down guys invitations to love, romance and a wonderful relationship, I now seek it but not at the expense of having to settle for less than I deserve, I don't need someone rich or hella attractive. I just want them to be for me through the good the bad and the ugly moments....I can be unpleasant at times but who isn't????? I need that one dude that's gonna be there and have my back and be a man when i need him to be. I'm willing to open up and love the right one when they come along...I am no damn saint and have done my share of bad things in my younger days but now that I am older I look at that stuff and laugh and I want them to laugh at I with me. A lot of guys that want to be with make a lot of promises and say they will do this and that but I don't need all that, just be yourself and if it's meant to be it will be. Till this day I have dudes that will drop da draws if I wanted them to or would be my boyfriend with one call, I may sound conceited but I'm not. Sooo in ending this I want to apologize to all the guys and girls I have deceived and left hoping for something for somethig that would never be. I now know how it feels...I tell dudes all the time just cus I'm cute don't mean I'm everyones cup of tea...and everyone is not for me. Nonetheless inwill keep my hopes up because I'm gonna catch love and never let it go.

No no not you but him

As I lay in my bed and my mind wonders around on as how to relate this blog to my title....so here goes nothing. Have you ever wanted one guy but when he not giving you the attention that you want, you drift off to other perspectives. But you realize that these other perspectives are not him nor do they make you feel the way he does. So a couple of weeks ago I went on a horrible date and the guy said that he didn't want to see me no more when we parted but later that night he texted me and asked when was he going to see me again????? I don't know if I should give him a second chance, he said some shitty stuff and is very impatient... But anyway I drifted, and a week later I met sexual chocolate...very nice man doing his thing, funny, cute, nice body from the pictures and everything is cool but like I don't ever hear from him....wassup with that? Who knows and in a few days who cares, side note my roommate is cute as hell lol.... Ok back... so since I really haven't been talking to sexual chocolate I been trying to rebuild friendships with some of the guys from my past. I really want to work on my friendship with T, he was really special...funny, annoying, sexy, and as long as we were together I felt myself becoming a better person. He opened my eyes and my heart, but I was afraid to love him or show him that I liked him. I can honestly admit that I am gay but when it comes to relationships with men I have a fear they will turn out for the worse. I think after talking to him he realized how serious I was about him, because we had stopped talking for a few months and we almost talk all the time. I hope things work out and are productive between us , even if it is just a friendship. The first time we kissed was the last time we kissed, but I blame that on me... I should have been more aggressive. I try to be aggressive with the guys I talk to now buT it just turns out to be nagging, and I hate nagging. As I'm writing this blog I'm thinking about him...