No no not you but him

As I lay in my bed and my mind wonders around on as how to relate this blog to my title....so here goes nothing. Have you ever wanted one guy but when he not giving you the attention that you want, you drift off to other perspectives. But you realize that these other perspectives are not him nor do they make you feel the way he does. So a couple of weeks ago I went on a horrible date and the guy said that he didn't want to see me no more when we parted but later that night he texted me and asked when was he going to see me again????? I don't know if I should give him a second chance, he said some shitty stuff and is very impatient... But anyway I drifted, and a week later I met sexual chocolate...very nice man doing his thing, funny, cute, nice body from the pictures and everything is cool but like I don't ever hear from him....wassup with that? Who knows and in a few days who cares, side note my roommate is cute as hell lol.... Ok back... so since I really haven't been talking to sexual chocolate I been trying to rebuild friendships with some of the guys from my past. I really want to work on my friendship with T, he was really special...funny, annoying, sexy, and as long as we were together I felt myself becoming a better person. He opened my eyes and my heart, but I was afraid to love him or show him that I liked him. I can honestly admit that I am gay but when it comes to relationships with men I have a fear they will turn out for the worse. I think after talking to him he realized how serious I was about him, because we had stopped talking for a few months and we almost talk all the time. I hope things work out and are productive between us , even if it is just a friendship. The first time we kissed was the last time we kissed, but I blame that on me... I should have been more aggressive. I try to be aggressive with the guys I talk to now buT it just turns out to be nagging, and I hate nagging. As I'm writing this blog I'm thinking about him...