As I walk back to my train I wonder was this trip worth it ? Was going to see the same movie twice worth it? Was being aggravted until my head hurt? No No Noooooo.... It definately wasn't. First of allllll I passed up possibly going out with boys for a wonderful night in the city drinks music ect. all to meet this guy from bgc lol I kid myself by thinking that bgc has anything remoty interesting that will ever hold my attention. But here goes, his name for this blog will be dancer boy so he asks me a few days ago to go out today to see a scary movie and since I already been out this week to see everythig I said hey what the hell why not see it in 3D lol. The movie was still wack but this boy was too much, too affectionate for the first meeting or outing cus it definatywas not a date. He first of all was over dramatic for no reason it was like taking a girl to the movies, he took his shoes off and got comfortable and throughout the movie he had his feet on me and reached over and tried to hold my hand. He didn't try but he was holding my hand itried to brush it off without being rude but I said hey what the hell just watch the movie it's almost over. After the movie was over we walked to his car and he started saying where do you want to go for dessert so I replied I don't know, I don't know what's around here. That set it off he started going in lol he was like I don't understand how you can't decide on where to go for dessert, he said I do not have a take charge personality and I just roll with wind. I did not deny that I am the type to roll with the wind but only for a little while. I don't think I was at all interested in him when he said he works two jobs so that he can shop. Guys like him don't hold my attention for long because hey have no drive to make their lives better than a superficial temporary adjustment of their out of control life. I am what I ask for in a guy, drive and ambition, I can't date someone that works two jobs to just spend money, who thinks volunteering for free is not interesting. This leads me to belive that I have figured out why I am or have been single for so long these guys have no substance no drive no abition no dreams. Dream killers are not for me, and as I sit here in the path station I regret coming here this guy was too much for me emotionally. He did not understand that I am not the type of person to hold hands in a scary movie, i am not used to a guy being inbetween my legs whilE in public. I'm not used to that from a guy I just met and started talking to a few days before now. I'm not even too affectionate with people or guys that I have known for years, it's just not me. Which he had a hard time comprehending and thought that there was something wrong with me. He was at a loss for words because he could not understand me, which no one can. To understand me you would have to be patient and willing to learn and not quick to judge. This outting is the last one for a while, I will take my chances with meeting someone in a club or something, maybe even at school, who the hell knows. Maybe I did it on purpose, make him not like me subconciously maybe I didn't like him from the moment I met him. Maybe I should have been blunt and rude as I can sometimes be when forced to be, but being rude is unlady like lol and too add on, I am a nice man that is tolerant. But if anyone that reads this knows a decent guy that is attractive and has the qualities of a possible partner that would be a match with me leave a comment asap lol..... Just kidding.....
Question to the reader....how do you define an adult, what is an adult, how do you know you are an adult?
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Its hard to define because they come in so many forms. However, there are certain character traits and behaviors that are universal for adults. Like 1, having enough patience to not get emotionally attached to any guy you have not known for at least a year and exclusively talking to and or dating.
ReplyDeleteAnother is Understanding that though many say places like BGC are what you make it, the problem is just that, there is so little work with. You could literally be trimming the fat forever on a site like that and never really end up with anything of substance or enlightenment.
Another trait is realizing that physical appearances are just what they appear to be. Nothing is ever as it seems, rarely do you find the complete fine guy with the great personality and talented and loving and everything you have always dreamed of. At least they do not come right now in you life. Does not mean they cant but Its not quite time for him yet. What you should do is realize that things like weight can be lost, you dont have to date 800lb albert but you need to realize that just because he is 20 or 40lbs over weight, that does not mean that weight can not be lost and you never know what a person is going through. So always be respectful of others and their personal emotional territory because these are sensitive topics for a lot of people.
I would say that if you are having trouble finding a good man to settle down with for a while, have you ever taken a look at yourself? meaning are you aiming where you should be aiming? are you constantly settling for less? You must realize that sometimes you just can not do that. Its not worth it and you always end up back at sq 1, upset and turned off. It does nothing for either one of you in the end.
Also it could be where you are looking. I think that you sound like a really great guy, but how do you think you represent yourself to others on sites like that? You having pictures with your shirt off and nude ones really does not send the message that you are looking for a quality man, because they just see the physical things and come right after them, but they cant come after what they have never seen. So tuck the goodies away. You are a special person, treat yourself and represent yourself as if you have something the rest do not and if they care to buy your wares, they'd better follow you and climb the stairs. But its going to take work to get to that point. Promote yourself in a way that you would want a guy that you are interested in quality wise and like a mirror, that image shall reflect itself and you will finally have and see just what you were looking for.
Also always keep the communication lines free. Be AN ADULT! say what you mean! Mean what you say! DO NOT SUBMERGE YOURSELF IN BODY LANGUAGE. ITS THE LANGUAGE OF TROUBLE AN IF YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET CARRIED AWAY THERE, YOU COULD BE SENDING OFF ALL OF THE WRONG SIGNALS. ADULTS CAN COMMUNICATE JUST FINE VERBALLY. A LOT OF THINGS WOULDN'T BE SO HARD IF WE JUST DID THEM!
OK BABY, I HOPE IVE HELPED,
*DELLA!
Yea you did but as i always say I'm not meant for everyone and everyone not meant for me. I just need to follow that.
ReplyDeleteyes you do but baby never be afraid to speak up and say what you want..you deserve a fine man up to your standards when you work hard for it...youve gotten yourself together, not perfect but you can get what you want and deserve it. so dont worry about it baby. I think you should possibly consider a man friendly city vaca. What city are you residing in now....well email me if you dont want to say all this here.
ReplyDeletefirst of all, you've met me on bgc and I think I've held your attention for quite some time now, but i dont think you're speaking of that kinda attention...
ReplyDeleteNow on to this boy. I really feel to find your own equal is going to be a difficult task. Many people do so much with themselves that their expectation from everyone else is so high that they can't meet the criteria. In this case, i just think you shoulda left him in the movies and found ya way back home way earlier in the night. I've had an experience like yours...
oh by the way text me. You know how that g1 deletes numbers... lol that's why you didn't get an invite. but you'll get one just text me